I think I can count myself lucky since although in one night I can have about 3 different dreams in average, I have the ability to just change my dream whenever I felt like it.Mostly when I'm too scared or too angry in my dreams.But last night I can't.I dreamt of my grandpa.I've dreamt of him like thousands of times before.Most of my dreams consist of just our conversations which always ended with him leaving me to go to somewhere far.Yesterday I dreamt of him and another person.Someone that will left me devastated if she ever leave me.I'm so worried of my grandma.She seems so sick nowadays.I didn't talk much with her cause I can't understand what she says.The stroke have cause her some difficulties to talk and damn I felt bad about it.If I can just give up some money to make me not have these kinds of dreams anymore I think I would.It's just so depressing when I woke up and knowing that I can't see him anymore.End.

22

So I turned 22 today.Not much to blog about.Just getting older by another year anyway.I guess as we grew older birthdays don't seem to be so important like it used to.But I am happy that I lived to see this day.Alhamdulillah.Well it's good enough that some people remembered today as my birthday but for some that I was kind of expecting a wish for days like this and didn't get one...I do wonder if I did lose these people as friends.Do I sound childish?Yeah I think so too.Anyway how do you celebrate your fridays?I chose not to take a bath in the evenings of fridays while many other like patin slept later than usual.So what's your way of celebrating.Anyway thanx for the wish for those who did.Oh happy holiday sophisticated mama.May you have a safe and an enjoyable trip.End.

Random

Usually along my journey back to Penang,I'll spend the whole journey thinking on how the last semester had been.I'll remember all the fun stuffs as well as the times when I was really down.On my last journey back I thought about the whole 5 years I've spent in MMU.It felt so hard to believe that it had been 5 years.I remembered all the new and fun stuffs that I had done,all the friends that I've met and parted and everything else.I just realized I'm so easily pleased and amused.I guess that's the good thing of being not exactly poor but not rich neither.You tend to appreciate more all the small-small things around you, the sweet taste of the 20cents candy,the feeling of being at home wrapped in a blanket with a milo on a rainy day.Those small stuffs that kept you happy.You do want more in life but if you can't get it...well it's ok.I guess that's another blessing in disguise of seldom getting things to be your way.When you had one thing that goes according to your plan unexpectedly,regardless of how tiny a matter it is.....the feeling is so indescribable.The tingling feeling of being happy.Anyway this is just a random post.The things that I thought about now.No point at all.I just missed the trimonkeyz I guess.You guys were in my dream last night.Although it was a nightmare,you guys were there.Oh and it's friday.End.

Urgh

I'm in Penang.Ahh I haven't been home for so long that my mom might have rearrange the furnitures a few times while I'm not home.Yesterday when my sv scolded me again before I went back home, I answered back to him.The thing is that usually when I answered back to his scoldings,he'll just ignore me but yesterday he seems like taken aback by what I said.His facial expression changed.I should know because while saying that I was looking directly into his eyes.It bugged the hell out of me the whole day.I don't know how do I turn out to be so mean.Maybe I am mean this whole while.Regardless of all his scoldings,well I shouldn't have sunk in to his level.My god....I never realized that I am such a mean person.I must have hurt so many people without me realizing it.I can't seem to fully enjoy this holiday because of this incident.It's always like that.After I've said something that I think will hurt the other person,I'll be obsessed about it the whole day until the moment I apologized.I'll be thinking about that person's face while I say what I said and I'll be worried the whole time.Only this time it bugged me more because I don't wanna feel this way because this is the sv.He started it first,it's totally not my fault and I don't even like him.So why am I feeling so terrible right now.Ok now I'm starting to sound childish.Urghhh.Anyway if I have hurt any of you people who are reading this blog,I'm so so sorry.I can't undo anything I've done.I just can say that I'm sorry.End.

Penang.....my lovely penang

Nothing much to blog about this week.I'm going back to Penang tonight taking a self-declared holiday tomorrow.I'll be in Penang till next monday since the whole selangor gets a holiday on that day to celebrate the sultan selangor's birthday.Oh I love sultan selangor for having his birthday on monday.Actually I should thank the state council of selangor right since my bro said they are the one that set the date for the sultan's birthday.Thank you the selangor state's council.I felt a little bit guilty for taking the day off tomorrow but look at today,I just came to office with nothing to do and I just spent my time browsing blogs and online news.......rather than doing that tomorrow I would rather be in penang.I wanna visit the new mall in penang and eat lots and lots of foods.I gained so much weight nowadays and would be gaining more.My plan to go to the apartment's gym proved to be just hangat-hangat chicken shit.The thing is that I ate a lot and I don't ned to walk so much plus I have too much of sleeps.No wonder even on those days that I don't have any work I still felt so tired and restless.I've been havin weird dreams nowadays.Even more than usual.hmm.....that's all I guess.End.