Thinking about it i did make some issues a bigger deal than it is when in fact it shouldn't have been that way.So i did felt guilty over some stuff that also had burdened u dear tinka but i don't think i'm gonna share it with everyone here.sorry.Right now i am feeling guilty on trying hard to avoid somebody that i'm not comfortable with and thus someone that i thought of as how do i put it "different".Don't ask who.Sometimes i did unintentionally treated people the harsher way.....i don't know maybe i'm the weirdo here.When i was in penang i felt a slight pain in breathing but was told later that it's the result of being under stress.Right now the pain is gone maybe as the result of laughing every single day but it was replaced with a quickened pace of my heartbeat and yeah i do know why.....is it healthy?i can't really answer that.For a good reason?i guess..........well more to i hope so.

Yesterday was really fun....the mr tutor eye-candy said hie to me when i was in the same lift with him but of course i have to mantain the coolness but was destroyed by patin few seconds later.nevermind though it was funny.Then the day went on and again i took the role as the pest control since i have to spray the penyengat.It was really2 funny getting ready to do it with the really weird attire and the blair-witch project video caught on camera.Not much to talk about.i had better off sleeping...

Felt so long since my last post.Well i don't really have anything to update anyway.Went for a movie today.Such a bad day.Everything went wrong.We didn't get to watch mr. and mrs. smith so we have to opt for the intepreter.But the movie was ok i guess.Lots of things on my mind right now.Maybe i'm just making those issues a big deal but i can't help it.Suddenly everything cramped up my mind.I'm scared,insecure and maybe the anger hasn't fade.Terrible me.I felt lots of burden for me to think about.I'm hating every single part of me for making things that could be under control goes wrong and burdening everyone else.I'm so sorry...Maybe it will be better if i'm not here since my presence seems to bring problems to me and people around me.What a sick post but who cares anyway.

Now finally is the time for me to return to cj.It felt strange....few weeks back i was so bored i kept on counting days to go back to cj but now parts of me don't feel like going back.It somehow felt stressful and i'm certainly not in my best mood.I felt this anger to people that might not entirely be their fault for what had happened but i can't stop blaming them oh and i would love to snap in their faces.Of course i didn't.Maybe i'm just emotionally challenged.Maybe i'm just taking things too seriously.....and this is precisely what i hate about me.....

I hate making decisions.Not to mention i'm an utter failure to it.Some of my decisions certainly didn't end up giving me the best result that i expected.The holiday is nearly coming to an end.Although it will be fun seeing my friends again but going back to mmu is just like going back to reality for me.I'm not saying that being on holiday is like living in fantasy but not much of a reality check.More decisions to make...more headaches to face.Reality really breaks me....